Originally written on May 25, 2015.
I’m writing this post more as a diary-type thing so I can look back on it later, not to get pageviews. In fact, I’m not even sure if I’ll publish this post.
So tonight, I had my first Skype date with a guy named Andy. He’s 23 and stationed at Fort Polk, Louisiana. (Naturally the first thing I did after my Skype date was message Jen to see if she’s heard anything about him. She hasn’t. Darn.)
But let’s rewind. So the day is Monday, May 11th. I’m sitting at home after work, all alone. This wave of desperation hits me and I log back into my OKCupid account after swearing off all online dating sites because of the inappropriate messages I receive. I was surfing the portion of the site where it randomly matches you based on match percentage and I see the profile a guy called “ARCtrooper1.” His profile photo was a mirror selfie. I first was like “Ew” (I hate mirror selfies) but then I decided to peruse it a little more. He talks about he’s looking for an intelligent, pretty woman to build a family with. Hey! I’m intelligent and pretty! I want a family! so then I’m like “Okay, maybe I should give this guy a shot.” And then I scroll through his photos. There’s a really good one of him smiling, and I was like “Oh wow this guy is CUTE!”
Naturally, I just had to message this guy. “Hi! You are pretty cute :)”
His response? “Why hello there! You seem to be pretty, intelligent, and well-rounded from what your profile has to say. What’s the catch? Are you crazy? :D” He has a sense of humor! Nice!
From there, we message each other every day. I bring up the Jesus thing really early, and he is okay with my commitment to my faith. In fact, he’s Christian as well! So we talk some more. And then he asks me what my “intentions are for this relationship.” I’m open and honest, that I want to get to know him and see where it leads. That I’m not into dating in Owensboro because it’s just the bar scene and I’m not into that. I want a relationship, a real relationship. He responds that his intentions are similar to mine. To “explore this path, see what we have in common, and figure out what the next step is.” He adds that “distance and separation will be a part of life whenever I’m deployed, so finding someone that can understand and deal with that fact is a must.” I tell him I fit the bill, because I wouldn’t have messaged a guy who lives nearly 600 miles away if I couldn’t handle the distance.
And then I ask him for his name. That’s right, folks. We had these deep conversations before knowing each others’ names.
So back to our messages. We talk about our Memorial Day plans, and I mention that I’m Skyping my friend Christina, who now lives in Spain. Then at 4 in the morning on Saturday morning, I message him to ask what his big secret is that he hinted about in his profile. He read my message, but never responded. I panic about it all day, even writing this blog post. I message him and apologize; it’s not my right to ask something like that when I barely know him. He later messages and gives me a hint of his big secret, and even though he doesn’t say outright what it is, I feel like he’s trusted me with something important.
Then, he says “We should Skype sometime. What about Monday?”
Fast-forward to Monday. I spend literally all day freaking out. What if I’m not good at this?! What if I’m awkward?! I tweet Anna, asking her for her advice since she met her boyfriend online. I make a list of things to talk about in case it gets awkward. I change from the t-shirt and jeans I’m wearing to a dress and makeup. (I even Instagram a photo of me all dolled up.) I log onto Skype, and he’s calling. I silently pray, “Lord, not my will, but Yours” as I accept the call.
It’s a little awkward at first, because we’re both shy people. But then I got so nervous that I started talking faster and a lot. We talk about our faith, and our upbringing, books we liked to read, and our jobs. I admit that I have a blog and give him permission to Google me. (I did warn him that I no longer blog about dates as they happen.) I admit that I made a list of questions to ask him tonight. I admit I’m awkward and weird and quirky.
The entire conversation felt comfortable, like I was talking to a friend. In fact, I felt so comfortable that I curled my feet up under me as I was chatting with him (something that I only do when I’m at ease.)
Before we know it, 45 minutes has flown by. He says “It’s almost 18:30.” I laugh and say, “Civilian time, please?” He had to do laundry for tomorrow, so we signed off Skype. But first, he asked me for my number and asked permission to text me, and I tell him I had a great time Skyping with him. He says that we should definitely do it again.
I go downstairs to tell my mom about my “date” with Andy, and she says “It went well, didn’t it?” “Actually, yeah. How did you know?” “Because at the end there you got really loud and your voice was higher in pitch.” Apparently when the Young girls are really excited/happy about something, we speak loudly 😉
And that is the story of my first “date” with Andy.