….and that’s okay. I’m still going to recap this weekend anyway just for my own memory.
Most of you already know that I had been anxious about things getting more serious with Andy. I’m not going to rehash everything, but basically I’m scared of all the changes marrying him will bring. By the time he came to Owensboro (an hour later than planned) I was still upset and also because we were running really late to our evening plans. Usually I run to him when he pulls in my driveway and jump into his arms, but this time I just sadly walked. I gave him a long hug and we walked back to his truck to go to church for the Christmas musical. He asked if everything was okay, and I nodded yes, but I couldn’t even look at him without fear I would cry. On the drive to church, I silently cried the whole way.
When we got to church, Andy asked what is wrong. “I have to give up everything!” And then the waterworks really started. I hysterically cried and cried, and then cried some more. Andy just hugged me tighter. After I finally calmed down some, he asked what can he do. “Would you give up the Army for me?” He was silent for a while before quietly replying, “If you made me, yes.”
I’m not going to make him give up the Army. It’s who he is. I can work in Human Resources anywhere. Andy reminded me that there are sacrifices he will be making as well. He planned to stay enlisted for his entire career, to go to all of the schools– Air Assault, Airborne, Ranger school, etc– and wanted to eventually go Special Forces. Instead, he chose to PCS to the middle-of-nowhere, Kentucky instead of exotic places like Hawaii, Alaska, or Germany. He’s thinking about college and thinking about eventually going Officer because of the better paycheck to support a family, things he would have never considered before me. As much as he loves the constantly moving lifestyle, he’s okay with the idea of settling down in Kentucky when he leaves the military. Honestly, I think just hearing that he loves me enough to give up his dreams for me comforts me in giving up and altering some of my dreams. I don’t have to give up all of my dreams; they will just have to change a bit.
As I started writing today’s post, I was reminded of Chelsea’s post about looking for the positives in this lifestyle. Andy and I will get to see and live all over the world. We’ll learn to rely on each other in our marriage, because our families will be thousands of miles away. And when the time comes that we’ll be apart, I’ll learn to be stronger and independent (although hopefully less opinionated, because my mouth can get me into trouble!)
Later that night, I asked Andy to pray for me. He prayed the sweetest prayer that God would give me peace and comfort and help me through the hard times ahead. And when I woke up the next morning, I felt so much better. I actually smiled for the first time all week. I know there will be hard times ahead, and I know I will cry about my jobs and moving again, but Andy (and God, of course) will be there to support me.
After the Christmas musical at church, we drove around town looking at the Christmas lights. We drove to the Lashbrook house— the family was featured on some ABC show about the best Christmas light displays– and some other house that has Christmas lights synced to that Watch Me Whip/Nae Nae song.
Saturday morning, we slept in late and lounged around the house in our pajamas for a while. Then we went to lunch at TGI Friday’s. Andy made me try his strawberry smoothie, and the first words out of my mouth were “It tastes like a strawberry daiquiri!” The power went out as we were leaving which was a bit freaky since it had been unseasonably warm (70 degrees!) all day. Apparently a transformer blew, knocking out power to the entire south side of town. We had planned to go to the movies to see Mockingjay, but instead we decided to head home. It took 30 minutes in what is usually a 15 minute trip, thanks to the stoplights being out. But we had a lovely conversation.
We curled up on my bed and watched Army lose to Navy (Andy: “14 year losing streak… but at least I’m not in the Navy!” His words, not mine) before I went to work at the bookstore.. Andy drove me to work, and he had picked up a snack for my 30 minute break, so I sat in the truck with him to eat.
On Sunday, we slept in (no church thanks to the musical) and snuck into my office to take our first official Christmas photo together. I’d share, but I plan to send some in the Christmas cards I’m mailing out. Then we went grocery shopping at Kroger before we came home to make lunch. He had to leave shortly after lunch, which was okay because it gave me time to address Christmas cards and do laundry.
Overall, it was a really nice weekend. I sure love that sweet man of mine.